Sunday, February 08, 2009

Random Grammy Thoughts

I'm sitting here studying for some tests this week, but I thought I'd watch the Grammy's as well, and write down some random thoughts as they come to me. Here we go:

- If you wrote a song with lyrics as terrible as the opening song from U2, would you project them up on a big screen for all the world to read? Lyrics like, "I don't want to talk about wars between nations," followed by "Boots" repeated a number of times. The music isn't bad, and I probably wouldn't even notice the lyrics if they hadn't been posted.

- Ah Whitney...still as crazy as ever.

- Boyz II Men put out an album this past year?

- That "Beatle Fighters" joke fell about as flat as is humanly possible. Thanks Rock.

- Was that General Store thing supposed to be a joke? You have to either be a bit more obvious or a lot funnier, Mr. Timberlake.

- With one hand I want to punch Chris Martin, but what would I do with the other hand? Oh...hello Kanye. Where did you come from...and what are you talking about?

- Joy! A Coldplay medley, with Chris Martin prancing to another stage. Now he's spinning. And he's raising his hand in the air. Does he think this is the iTunes commercial again? Did he slip in a line from Springsteen's "Working on a Dream", or am I crazy? I'm 95% positive his bandmates hate him.

- Carrie Underwood: single-handedly trying to bring back the faux-puffy shirt. The strange thing? It actually looks pretty good on her. Somewhere Matthew is salivating.

- I love that Sheryl Crowe walks out to "All I Wanna Do". For some reason that is humorous to me.

- The chick from Sugarland is CRAZY. McCartney might want to look into a restraining order.

- You don't have to jump through hoops for Duffy, Al Green.

- What is Kid Rock doing? Somewhere along the line, he grew tired of his rap-rock schtick and embraced an era of terrible (TERRIBLE) socially-conscious/political songwriting. I never thought I'd say this, but you're better than this. And right on cue...his "Werewolves of London"/"Sweet Home Alabama" mash-up. I'm seriously considering recanting my previous statement.

- Awwww...a song about high school romance from Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus. I can't even begin to tell you how little I care about this. I just found out that they're best friends. Who knew?

- Robert Plant looks like sin.

- Did the CSI chick just compare the Jonas Brothers to Cain and Abel? Someone had to say it.

- Stevie Wonder singing through autotune? What a waste. The next time you decide to jack up someone's voice, pick someone who can't sing.

- Hey...Bandana Jonas. That's Mr. Wonder to you. Show a little respect.

- Could someone tell me why the Jonas Brothers are popular? Now they have decided to ruin "Superstition". It's going to be hard to listen to this song the same way again. Thanks for ruining music, Grammy's. And let's not forget the Jonas Brothers...single-handedly setting music back 50 years.

- Blink-182 announcing their reunion. Does this mean we don't have to listen to Angels & Airwaves anymore?

- I can't help that I like Katy Perry, and I won't apologize. Her voice is not necessarily in top form tonight, though.

- Kanye West looks hideous, and he doesn't sound any better. Estelle is not even close to saving this thing.

- There is not a single good artist in the Best New Artist category. Who wins? Why...Adele, of course. The woman who has one decent song. Oh well...at least it wasn't the Jonas Brothers.

- Wait. Morgan Freeman and Kenny Chesney are friends? What do you suppose they do on a Friday night?

- The interchange between Natalie Cole, Herbie Hancock and Diddy was terribly awkward in an extremely funny way.

- I was pulling for M.I.A. to win Record of the Year, if only for the possibility of seeing her go into labor on the stage.

- T-Bone Burnett is wonderfully crazy. You can't help but love that guy.

- I knew it only a matter of time before Queen Latifah used the term "Rap Pack".

- Is it healthy for a woman who is nine months pregnant to be bouncing around the stage? Regardless, she sounds better than everyone else currently on the stage (Kanye, Jay-Z, T.I. & Lil' Wayne). What a terrible excuse for macho posturing. I'm actually starting to feel a little nauseous. If you want to primp and preen, fellas, take it to the corners.

- Kate Beckinsale? What a wonderful surprise. And introducing Paul McCartney. She's actually doing a terrific job.

- McCartney's voice is on the downswing, but he still sounds pretty good. Performance of the night so far.

- Best Male Pop Vocal: I'll take McCartney, only because the other ones are garbage. And...it's John Mayer. Wow. Way to win an award with yet another piece of terrible acoustic pop garbage. Thanks John.

- Jay Mohr & LL Cool J? When exactly is Jay Mohr going to finally see his career die? Shouldn't that have happened years ago?

- Is it just me, or did the chick from Sugarland age 30 years since the beginning of this show?

- Adele sounds terrible live. Did they doctor her voice for her album, or is she just really nervous? Since she steadily got better throughout her performance, I guess I'll blame it on a case of the jitters.

- Radiohead coming up. This should be fantastic.

- The marching band was a nice touch. Some of Thom's movements seemed a bit forced. Other than that, it was a good performance.

- What is Samuel L. Jackson wearing? This show just keeps getting more confusing.

- You know, T.I. isn't a bad rapper, but there's something off with this Justin Timberlake collaboration. I'm not exactly sure what it is, but I'm really not enjoying this at all.

- T.I. just welcomed me on his road to redemption. Thanks T.I.

- I always hate when the president of the academy shows up, but this may be one of the worst speeches of his I've heard. He just sounds unnecessarily egotistical. Just stop with the whole "Yes we can" stuff. It's a little played out at this point.

- In order to honor the musical contribution of the Four Tops, they bring out Jamie Foxx. Sure. That makes sense.

- I may have to take that back. This is actually a pretty good performance. The last living member of the Four Tops, Smokey Robinson, Ne-Yo and Jamie Foxx. They sound pretty good together.

- I should have figured that The Grobanator would've shown up at some point.

- Neil Diamond still has that swagger...so why wasn't he included in the debacle that was "Swagga Like Us"?

- They couldn't find someone better than Gary Sinise to introduce Lil' Wayne? And why is Robin Thicke up there? While Lil' Wayne is rapping about the hardships of New Orleans, Thicke is raising his hand in the air, singing "New Orleans" over and over again and grinning like an idiot. Does anyone actually like this guy?

- Alan Toussaint just showed up...and he still has it. And now's he's being joined by the Dirty Dozen Brass Band. And Terrance Blanchard. That was actually pretty enjoyable.

- Will.I.Am sighting! Let's hope he doesn't embarrass himself like he did last year. He did fairly well...but I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with T-Pain.

- Best Rap Album...Lupe Fiasco? No...of course not. It's Lil' Wayne. Of course it is. Why, it's only one of the most hyped rap albums in recent memory. Of course it wouldn't go to Lupe Fiasco, who crafted an extremely creative and eclectic album. That would've made sense.

- It's about time Zooey Deschanel showed up. And she's introducing Robert Plant & Alison Krauss. That's pretty cool...but I wish she didn't use the "She & Him" hook.

- This Plant/Krauss performance is really good...and pretty dark. I'm really enjoying it. It's nice to see T-Bone Burnett on stage with them.

- And here I thought I could get through the night without seeing Green Day. Those guys are idiots. Does the one guy still call himself Tre Cool?

- Album of the Year...here we go. I am, of course, rooting for Radiohead, but I don't really think they'll win it. I'll predict Coldplay.

- Annnnnnd....Robert Plant & Alison Krauss. I did not see that coming. I thought that album was decent, but I was surprised it was even up for Album of the Year, let alone winning it. Oh well. I've seen worse winners. Congrats.

- How dare they try to cut off the Album of the Year acceptance speech. That is shameful.

Well, this was kind of fun. It was my first time doing something like this. Hope you enjoyed it.

4 comments:

Fosterface said...

Thank you for subjecting yourself to the Mainstream Music Masturbatory Hour so I did not have to. Reading your notes it sounded like a whole lot of, um, well I'll call it self-congratulating this time. And since you and I don't converse nearly as much as we used to, my reactions to your reactions follow:

I can't imagine someone calling himself Will.I.Am embarrassing himself anymore than by going with such a childish monicker like Will.I.Am. Please tell me he's 7.

I think you would have liked to see Alan Thicke yelling "New Orleans!" on that stage.

You have as much Chris Martin rage as Steven Malkmus has Billy Corgan rage.

I've only made the mistake of not scraping the cilia out of my ear canal with an icepick long enough to hear the Jonas Brothers once. Sorry to hear that you have made the same error. I won't make it twice.

Was this Kid Rock performance as good as his pre-Transformers music video?

Bono has always had a knack for writing awful lyrics and putting them next to really good ones ("Elevation" vs. "Kite", for example, from All That You Can't Leave Behind).

Britt said...

Nice Grammy blogging. I have to say that I actually like Adele's album a lot. It took me a while but I really enjoy it now (though her radio "hits" are my least favorite tracks). I like the spare, bass heavy arrangements on a few songs. Her Grammy performance wasn't that great but on Conan she sang solo while playing acoustic guitar and it was really, really nice. You could tell Conan was impressed. And it wasn't Chasing Pavements. Maybe Crazy/Crazy for You....something like that.

Loved Radiohead's performance. Haven't listened to Krauss/Plant but a couple of friends have recommended it.

Bono....eh, at this point what are you going to do? I love so much about U2 but how about they hire a lyricist or get a producer/someone willing to edit the crappy lyrics. Remember Peace on Earth?

Dusty said...

Ben: I was actually thinking at that point, "I wish it was Alan Thicke." What a great, great man.

Great points to the both of you for crappy U2 lyrics. It's funny that both examples came from "All That You Can't Leave Behind". No one wanted to trump up a "Vertigo" reference? Maybe next time.

Fosterface said...

I didn't go with Vertigo because I still haven't been brave enough to listen to it.